My Itch

It's neat how the Lord weaves a certain lesson into so many areas of my life--I'm sure this happens to you, too. When He is teaching me something, it seems like everywhere I turn there is a reminder of the lesson or a little further teaching on it.

Lately that lesson has been on stifling my pride (that seems to be a reoccuring theme!). I was reading about John the Baptist the other day, and his humility stood out to me, but I didn't really see a way that what I read applied to me specifically at this time. But I was sure wrong!

The other day I read a post at girl talk that hit home for me and brought to light just how John the Baptist's story applies to me now. I'll get into detail below, but to sum it up, I get caught up in receiving glory from people for things I supposedly do for God. Here's what God has been showing me:

1. He must increase, but I must decrease. This was the lesson from John the Baptist's story in John 3. The works I do cannot be to bring glory to me, but solely to bring glory to God. Like John the Baptist, the less people notice me and the more they notice God, the happier I should be and the more true my service is.
2. Lay up treasures in Heaven. Am I laying up any treasures in Heaven? Sometimes I think my heavenly treasure chest is probably empty because I have sought my reward here on earth through the approval of other people.
3. Live for an Audience of One. Where is this from? I've seen it a couple of places lately, but don't remember where. What it means to me definitely applies here, though.
4. At the beginning of this year, I expressed a desire to do service that was never known to people. So often my ministry is out in front and visible. I want to do some ministry that no one knows of and be content to receive my praise from God. Of course, as with any ministry, God has to direct it--I can't just make something up on my own to fulfill my own desire. It is possible that He wants me to deal with my pride while in public service areas.
5. I do not need to be concerned if people think I am not serving or if my service looks different than the service of other people. I need to do what God wants me to do--not what I think others want me to do or what would look good to others or what others are doing. We all have different gifts, abilities and service.
6. Don't try to get other people to "scratch my itch," but let God change my itch into a "well of water springing up to eternal life."

Now to apply these lessons to my heart...

More on Heaven

We had a Christian college group at our church last night. I have to admit that I can be a little critical of these groups for various reasons, but this group truly was a blessing. They emphasized thoughts about Heaven, and, in a readers' theater they performed, they said something that made something else click in my mind (that's the work of the Holy Spirit, right?).

They were talking about physical healing that will take place in Heaven: the lame will walk, the blind will see, the deaf will hear, etc. Then they said, "But better than that..." It was easy for me to think, "What could be better than that?" But better than physical healing, we will be spiritually healed. It's hard to think of spiritual healing as being as BIG as the physical healing, because we have never experienced life without sin and a sin nature. But, our sin nature will be gone!!! I don't think we can understand how free we will be--a freedom we have never felt before! I cannot wait.

Prayer

In our Wednesday night children's class at church, my husband and I have been teaching about prayer as part of the curriculum we are using. It's pretty hard to teach about something when I'm not "practicing what I preach." Too often I use the excuse of time for not having a good prayer life: "I can't be a prayer warrior because I just don't have a chunk of uninterrupted time." But the Bible speaks of being "instant in prayer" and praying "without ceasing." Those are definitely commands I can obey. There have been times in my life when it was a reflex action to talk to God, but it has not been that way for a while, mostly because I've been focused on keeping straight all the other happenings in my life.

Of course, I turn to the Lord when things are difficult, but my tendency when things are going well is to think, "I've got things under control right now." Notice who I attribute control to.....me. I'm finally beginning to understand that when things are going well, it's because I'm not in control. If I would rely on God and praise Him during the "easy" times, maybe I wouldn't have to keep experiencing the frustrating and out-of-control times to bring me back to reliance on Him.

I want prayer to be a reflex response again, and, ironically, that will only come through asking God to help me come to Him, and through practice.

Another part of prayer that has been missing in my prayer time is confession. I know I do wrong, and I determine in my mind to do right, but I never actually bring my sins before the Lord in confession. He knows my sins, but there is a reason He has told us in the Bible to confess our sins, a reason that Jesus included confession as part of His model prayer. Let me tell you, though, when I first started to add confession back to my prayer life, it wasn't easy. I know that God is aware of all my sins, but there is something hard about actually telling Him--it is humbling to admit I was wrong to someone else even if I've admitted it to myself. And perhaps that is one of God's greatest purposes in confession: until we are willing to be humbled because of our sin, we aren't really looking at our sin as we should.

Our children's curriculum included a simply acrostic to remember some of the most important parts of prayer. The acrostic was helpful to me, mostly because of its simplicity. Maybe it will be helpful to you, too. So, here it is:

A-Adoration--praising God for Who He is and what He does
C-Confession--admitting that my sin is sin
T-Thanksgiving--thanking Him for Who He is and what He does
S-Supplication--asking for needs and wants, for myself and others

There is no special order to this list, so maybe you'd remember it better as CATS or CAST or... :)

A Thinking Blogger

I was nominated as a "Thinking Blogger" by Left Coast Onlooker. This simply means that my blog makes her think. I know I don't post here often, but I am thankful for what the Lord teaches me and glad for the opportunity to share it with others and learn even further through their comments. The internet and blogging have surely provided a way to bring the body of Christ closer when used in the right way.

I debated about posting this because I've been battling with pride (in many forms) lately and I don't want to use my blogs for the purpose of drawing attention to myself. But after thinking and praying about it, I want to use this opportunity to be thankful for the nomination and for what the Lord has taught me and led me to put down here in this blog.

Now I am supposed to nominate five blogs that make me think.
Here are the rules:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn’t fit your blog).

To be honest, the blogs I would nominate have either already been nominated or are rather large to be able to deal with these kinds of nominations--they probably receive them every day! And I really have a small reading list when it comes to blogs, mostly because my time is limited on the computer. But I will mention them and link to them anyway so those who read this have the opportunity to be blessed by visiting the sites.

1. Girl Talk A mom and three daughters give biblical teaching and share life stories. I love this blog because it reminds me of my mom, my two sisters and myself.

2. Worship Matters "Worship" seems to be such a catch word in Christianity these days. I appreciate his humble and thought-provoking approach to worship as a worship leader in a large church.

3. A Dusty Frame I know she's already been nominated, but I would like to second or third or fourth or....the nomination. She has stretched my mind in spiritual matters, but also as I consider the trial she is experiencing and learn to be more understanding to people in trying situations.

4. Left Coast Onlooker Even if she hadn't been the one to nominate me, I would have nominated her. I came upon her blog by accident, discovered some time later that I actually know her, and have enjoyed getting to know her better through her posts. Reading her blog and getting to know her now has made me wish I had known her better when we were at college together. I love the depth of her blog!

5. Paleoevangelical Sometimes he's way over my head, but when he's not, he really makes me think.

Finite Me, Infinite God

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one can say, "Look, This is something new"? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.

-Ecclesiates 1:9, 10

I've been thinking about our finite minds and how anything we humans create--any "new" creation--is really just a new combination of things that already exist. Even the oddest creature in a sci-fi movie is just a combination of creatures that already exist. But what will Heaven be like? Will there be new colors that we cannot fathom here? Will we have six or seven or more senses? It's another humbling, yet exciting thought to know there is a whole experience waiting for me which I cannot know now. I think Chris Rice states it well in his song "Smell the Color Nine". Maybe in Heaven we will be able to smell colors and maybe words will have colors and we'll be able to see words. And that idea is just the edge of what is really possible.

On the other hand, I've been realizing more and more how infinite God is. My brother and sister and I sang "You Are God Alone (not a god)" a few weeks ago. Much of the song gave me much to think about, but I've especially been thinking about the line that says, "From before time began You were on Your throne." Then I opened my Chris Tomlin CD (finally), and it has a song called "Uncreated One." I haven't had a chance to study the lyrics of that song yet, but even its title alone sets my mind to thinking. Everything in this world had a starting point; everything has a beginning. God does not. He has always been. I cannot get my mind around that truth...and I don't know that I will before I get to Heaven. In my finite experience, all things have a beginning. This computer once did not exist, but was made. The water that runs through my faucet and the electricity and sunshine that light this room did not always exist, but were created. I was created. But God has always been. My mind wants to understand how He got here; it cannot comprehend that He always has been. Meditating on this thought gives new meaning to God calling Himself "I AM". He wasn't created, He didn't appear, He just is. It also helps me to trust His sovereignty. And it helps me to realize how small I really am in the scope of things.

But there is one of those paradoxes of Christianity (they're everywhere--just ask my mom who brought them to my attention): I am nothing in the scope of things, yet I am everything to God because He loves me.

God's Power, Thoughts on the Crucifixion

I've been reading the book "Humility: True Greatness" by CJ Mahaney. It's taking me a while to get through it--not because it's difficult reading, but for one, because I don't have a lot of spare time for reading that takes thought (i.e. as most fiction does not) other than my time spent in the Bible, and secondly, because CJ gives a few recommendations of things to study to develop humility (or fight pride--same thing), and I've been trying to do those as I read through the book. So, really, the book has been like a Bible study guide in itself.

One portion of Scripture I read was God's response to Job in Job 38 and on. Job 38:12 caught my attention:

Have you commanded the morning since your days began, and caused the dawn to
know its place?...

The thought struck me that though man can do many amazing things (on a side note, all we do is through God's enabling), no man has yet nor will he ever be able to make the sun rise. But God does it every day. It's so easy to think that the functions of our universe just happen like clockwork when the truth is that God sustains every part.

Another portion of Scripture that I've been reading in response to CJ Mahaney's suggestion to "reflect on the wonder of the cross", is the account of the crucifixion. When Jesus was being tried and the men slapped Him and told Him to prophesy who hit Him, Jesus said nothing. I know if I were in that situation, my reaction would be to silence them by proving who I am. But Jesus displayed no pride--though He is the One who could be justified in pride. Even as I look at the cross to learn what an awful sinner I am, there is Jesus, giving me an example of humility to follow. He truly was tempted just like us, but did not sin.

Again, while Jesus was on the cross, people mocked Him and said He should be able to save Himself if He really as the Son of God. If I were Jesus, the pride in me would have at least had some retort if not actually causing me to "save myself" to prove them wrong and me right. some verses come to mind in thinking about this: Romans 12:17-21. "'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord...Do not overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." I don't recall any specific time in my life when I have followed this verse, but I can think of at least once when I didn't. How I wish now that, though wrongly accused, I had at least kept quiet, but even moreso that I had "overcome evil with good"!!!

I'm still working on reading through each gospel's account of the crucifixion. After I've read the biblical accounts, I would like to watch "The Passion of the Christ." I haven't seen it yet, and am hoping it will help me to know what my sin required. Any comments on the movie?

More to say

Just letting you know I haven't dropped off the planet...and I haven't stopped thinking. I've just been a little short on time to post any thoughts that take time to express. I hope to be back soon.

In the meantime, I've been studying and thinking about:

1. The awesomeness of our omnipotent God.
2. What heaven will be like (and what I'll be like there).
3. How to be the mom God wants me to be (aka Pointing my children to a relationship with Jesus).
4. Some other stuff. :)

Stay-at-Home Mommy

I finished reading "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge a couple nights ago. It was a good book; unfortunately, my reading of it was over too long of a time for me to really keep with the continuity of the message. It did make me think about God's creation of women and about my position in creation, and also gave me insight into raising my two girls.

One thought I will leave you with was something I read as I finished the book. They were concluding by writing of the diverse roles of women in the world and how each woman is important in the place God has put her. At one point they spoke of a "stay-at-home mom," and included this quote from G.K. Chesterton which really touched my heart and made me feel triumphant in my position:

To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors, and holidays; to be Whitely within a certain area, providing toys, boots, cakes, and books; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. (From What's Wrong with the World)

What a job I have...like no one else in the world!